I’ve always believed that the emotional landscape of pregnancy—like so much of womanhood—is far more complex than we’re encouraged to admit. We’re taught to lead with gratitude, to focus on the miracle, to smile through the swelling and uncertainty. But what if you don’t feel just one thing? What if, alongside joy, there’s grief, anxiety, even dread?
This week on goop, we’re publishing an extraordinary piece by Erica Chidi, a doula, health educator, and the former cofounder of the reproductive health platform LOOM. In it, she gently unpacks a truth many women feel but rarely say out loud: that ambivalence is not only a common pregnancy emotion—it’s often the first one to arrive.
As Erica writes, ambivalence isn’t fear, and it isn’t apathy. It’s the messy, totally human experience of holding contradictory truths at once. Wanting a child while mourning the version of yourself you’re about to lose. Feeling deeply grateful and, at the same time, quietly terrified. This duality doesn’t make you broken. It makes you honest.
I hope this story gives you permission to feel whatever it is you’re feeling—and maybe to ask the women in your life how they really felt when they saw those two pink lines.
Love,
Gwyneth | 
