If you read my last newsletter, you know I’ve been letting go of this idea of “chasing rest.” This idea that rest is obviously great, but when you can’t actually get it, chasing it only creates more resistance. This week I want to expand on this idea and talk a little bit about effort.
What I’ve always loved about America is that everything is made to be practical, fast, easy, smooth – not complicated. Most of the time it’s incredible, especially when you come from France where everything is complicated, slow, and delayed.
But I had so many reminders this past summer that it’s not such a simple comparison. That the downside of trying to make everything smooth and easy, is that you start to forget that some of the best things in life take a little extra effort. The danger is that if you start to become averse to anything even slightly complicated or effortful, you risk missing out on some amazing moments.
I’ve been noticing how easy it is to let go of even the tiniest efforts for the sake of practicality and speed. Things like dimming the lights or lighting a few candles in the evening to calm and release the energy of the day. Popping a bottle of something bubbly to drink while you cook a nourishing dinner with friends. Taking 5 minutes to sort out the malfunctioning bluetooth speaker so you can set the tone for the meal you just worked so hard to prepare.
These things are such a low-lift effort and make such a huge difference – affecting everyone’s energy so positively. Even if you’re not super sensitive to these things, I’m curious for you to give it a try and notice how it affects the people around you, and trust in the domino effect.
I know just getting that far can be a big step – I routinely come home totally exhausted so I get it. And I also understand that it’s cultural – we weren’t all raised to value these things. But when you can take your effort even beyond that, the pleasure usually just gets even better.
I had so many moments like this over the summer – where I just leaned into things being a little bit complicated and so much pleasure ultimately came out of it. Like getting the fireplaces in our house working so we could enjoy them with family. Or figuring out how to use this 200 year old grill in the backyard that no one had touched in – who knows how long. But then enjoying so many beautiful foods cooked on it and feeling satisfied not just by eating the food but by the whole experience of making it too. Or it’s like spending a precious weekend cleaning out that junk room in your house and turning it into a place that breathes new life into your home (for months or years).
Going into this new season, I’m thinking a lot about how I can put a little extra effort in to create these pockets of peace in my life. What can I do to draw out the pleasure of the moments and environments and relationships in my life?
I think it’s about questioning all those practical little shortcuts we take to make life more comfortable and easy – but ultimately a little less special. It’s about remembering that the easy road is not always the better road. That the extra effort is always worth it. And of course – that you’re always worth it.
Avec amour,
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