Many of you know how full-on my journey has been since launching this brand. Really before that – because I was working so hard to get things off the ground while I was pregnant with my first baby, and then right before we launched COVID happened. Suddenly I had a new life, I was a mother and a founder navigating everything for the first time. Over a couple of short years the company went through big growth spurts (which involved a lot of re-thinking and re-working), I took on a second job with a bigger brand, and had another baby. All amazing things, but you might be feeling tired just reading that, haha.
In order to run a creative company though, I think you have to stay very fresh, inspired, and connected to your instincts. So many of my newsletters have been about how important this is and how I find my way back to these things – because it’s impossible to be that way all the time. Luckily I’m very aware when I’m feeling disconnected and in my head so I don’t let it go for too long. I was feeling that way before summer so I was like okay, I need to disconnect from work, connect with nature, and just rest.
But then of course my summer in the country did not give me any physical rest at all. I think I spent like two hours laying down outside in the whole two months. On top of working and having the kids at home, my husband and I took over our renovation too. By the last week of our vacation I started to panic a little bit because I knew that when I came back to the office in September I had to be really on top of it. I wanted to step in with that fresh perspective, but I was like oh my gosh I never stepped back, and even worse, I’m even more exhausted than before.
When those last few days of summer came we had friends coming to visit. Instead of leaning into the panic and fighting to get to bed as early as possible to rest, I just said fuck it. I’m going to lean into the pleasures and joys of my situation. I accepted that I wouldn’t recover physically (which ultimately took some pressure off) and I enjoyed myself as much as possible. I enjoyed all the kids running around being free, walking in the forest with my friends, cooking outside with the music playing, hosting and chit chatting and laughing by the fireplace… By the end of the few days I was still exhausted, but completely refreshed mentally.
It made me think about all these years that I’ve been so tired, chasing this rested feeling like a chicken with its head cut off. How I associate me being okay with me being rested. How I keep asking all the moms around me – when do you stop feeling tired? And they’re like – I’ll let you know. Meanwhile their kids are like 16.
I love feeling rested, but chasing rest, for years on end, is just making me more tired, and I feel a lot of release just letting that idea go a little bit. When we chase rest we often end up resting in ways that don’t actually give us any energy. I’m talking about the more “checked-out” forms of rest, like sitting on the couch scrolling, watching Netflix, or sleeping longer. While these can be the right moves sometimes, there are other options that take a little more effort physically but ultimately create more energy for us to work with. Maybe for you that means going to an art gallery or taking a walk in nature without your phone. For me it's staying up a little later laughing with friends. It’s not talking about work. It’s soaking up the pleasures life has to offer.
It’s not even just about creating pockets to do the things that bring you pleasure – it’s easier than that. For example, let’s say you’re tired but you have an event you said you’d go to. Is there any way you can find or create pleasure in this thing you have to do? Instead of looking at your watch the whole time calculating when you’ll get to bed or how many hours of sleep you’ll get, can you lean into your circumstances? Obviously do what you need to stay healthy – but is there wiggle room there?
As we get into fall and lose the daylight, we’ll likely feel even more tired than before. But for me it’s extremely reassuring to know that even if I can’t get rest physically, there’s a certain mental rest, or mental energy I can create by leaning into life. The physical rest will come when it comes. For now, I’m not stressing about it.
I’d love to know if any of you relate…
Avec Amour,
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